Howard Stern had Major League Baseball great Lenny Dykstra on the show again, and this time he he wanted to discuss his greatest skill -- and it's most certainly not baseball.
Lenny Dykstra has been bragging to Howard about his skill in one particular area for years. But it has nothing to do with sports. It does, however, have to do with women -- and eating.
In the past, Howard has been incredulous. Well, it looks like he may not be anymore.
This time, Howard insisted on proof. So on today's Howard Stern Show, Dykstra brought on multiple women to attest to his skill in that one area. Dykstra called them "good girls" who are "clean."
The first woman that Dykstra brought was a lesbian named Jessie; Dykstra originally asked Jessica to work for him because she's a lesbian and therefore wouldn't tempt him. Jessica says that originally, Dykstra started bragging about his skill, but she didn't believe him. Dykstra gave her a massage, but it "escalated":
Howard: He claims you have the best tasting [...] and raves about your smell
Dykstra: It's not really a smell...It's like a Korean herb or something [she's Asian] ... this was like f--- candy...it happened like 22 days straight
Jessica: Precision accuracy is the key to his amazing...he's very focused...he makes very nice movements
Dykstra later told Howard that he likes the female anatomy perfectly straight -- "90 degrees" (apparently he's not a math genius).
Howard also spoke with another woman named Jasmine, a comedian who met Dykstra after a set in Hollywood. She said that she became curious when Dykstra kept telling her about his skills.
Jasmine: He told me how an artist needs a 'clean canvas' so I had to go shower
Dykstra loved both of these women because they have a "short crack" in the rear. He apparently doesn't like them long. He also refuses to use fingers in his work -- "it throws off your balance," he says. And he doesn't like doggy style -- "I'm a missionary man...there's an angle, you have to get steep."
Regarding his male anatomy, Dykstra calls it "PC" -- "perfect c--k." He thinks that everyone would want it if they could get a chance -- especially Robin. Dykstra also claims that women pay him for his work, but it's mostly young women. When Howard asked if older women did, he said "their bones are too brittle."
Howard ends with "You're like Batman...except with sex."