TV Recap: Graceland Season 2, Episode 2, Connects

Last week on Graceland...
I learned that no matter how interesting the overarching plot of the season is, I still want to burn each individual episode to the ground. (Except for Emily Rose. Love Emily Rose.)

And you learned that I don't care about recapping things faithfully. Sorry, guys. I'm gonna do my best to do right by you this time.

Aaaaaand we're back! Graceland certainly does not waste any time - Mike and Paul (AKA Not-as-hot-as-Brandon-Bollig) meet up secretly on the beach. Are they having an affair?? No, sadly, as it turns out.

This show seems determined to chug on without any intrigue whatsoever.

Mike wants to take the "usual routes" to find out who kidnapped and tried to kill him like a goldfish last episode and Paul thinks Mike is an idiot.

I mean, he doesn't say it, but his eyes just scream it, you know?

Instead, Paul wants Mike to meet up with his contacts in Mexico. Mike thinks Paul just wants revenge on the cartel that got him hooked on heroine and the light hits Paul's beard just right so you can see some grey hairs right around the chin.

Mmm. That's nice.

Paul apparently feels super guilty about going to Mexico, but not guilty enough to not keep it from his girlfriend. Who, as it turns out, is getting worried when he doesn't return to the frat house they all share.

Aaaand here's where I break with the show.

Paul goes to Mexico (we know it's Mexico because of the sepia tone put in post-production) and voluntarily gets in a car with a bag over his head. That's not just scary, that's really, really frightening.

Paul gets out of the car, and goes towards the sound of a goat bleating. He shares an adorable interaction with the cutest animal known to man, who starts licking Paul's arm. I definitely see the goat dying soon.

The contact shows up, hands Paul some groceries because he must look like a twelve-year-old boy scout to Sr. Armas, and then proceeds to kill the goat. Ugh. I hate it when I'm right.

Cut back to the house, where Jason is still mourning his lack of relationship with his son by eating cereal and watching tv, everyone else is doing paperwork, and Charlie is losing her shit.

Mike tells her that Paul went to Mexico and she goes ballistic, knocking over an entire glass of juice. What will happen next.

We quickly find out: Paul drinks in the morning. Everyone knows that's only okay with Bloody Marys and Mimosas. He makes a deal with Armas and goes on his merry way.

Back to California, where Paige is pulling another undercover mission and Jason is packing to leave.

Johnny catches him, is weirdly disrespectful about the difference between Argentina and Chile, and finds out that Jason's got a nine-year-old son. They share a super touching hug and it's bye-bye to Jason...for now.

The show uses Paige's undercover op as a way to re-introduce the blandest tension ever between her and Mike. They get an interpreter to read her contact's lips during a phone conversation and it turns out there's a meet-up.

Bad news: they don't know whether it's Tuesday or Thursday.

Bater, Mike and Paige meet up and of course Paige needs to change clothes on-camera and get stared at by some juvenile asshats while doing so.

Is anyone else exhausted of women's bodies being displayed just to give the men onscreen a "wow she's so hot" moment? All your mothers would be ashamed and disgusted if you answered "no" to that.

Paige heads over to the house with a pizza and her contact is super interested in killing her. While she's freaking out at him, Moreno shows up.

Paige gives the high sign, the Feds bust in, and Moreno takes off. Paige follows, tackles him, and gets "arrested," maintaining her undercover id.

Paul comes back, gets chewed out by Charlie, who pretty rightly accuses Paul of taking this kind of risk so he could have a do-over, and leaving her out. We find out she's been sneaking out at night, and it's definitely some kind of op she's running. She's staking out Juan Padillo's widow, and Paul and Jason think she's on to the fact that Paul killed Padillo, not Jangles.

Jason tells Paul to "take care of it," whatever that means. He follows Chuck and it turns out Charlie feels responsible for Padillo's death.

Emily Rose shows up! She gives Mike a short tip, and then we flash to the teenagers who found the tape of Paul killing Padillo.

They're listening to the tape again, and then, wonder of wonders, give the tape to an adult! Who thinks it's a fake and locks it in his glove compartment. Either it turns to a Queen medly or remains lost forever.

Mike and Paul get the info their contact promised them (covered in goat shit, ha ha ha) and Bater (Solanski, finally he's got a last name) takes over Jason's room and bus duty when Mike splits up jobs for his new op. Jason is probably on his way back since he has what must be the most traumatizing interaction with his ex-girlfriend ever, and as he is being pushed to the ground and handcuffed his son runs past him to his adoptive father, calling for him.

Oh, that was not fun to watch. Once he gets back to his new place he stands in the middle of the room he made for his son and smashes everything he can.

Paul does a good thing, for once. He follows Padillo's ex-wife, posing as a fellow AA member, and prevent her from drinking again. Maybe this will help Charlie with her wrongly-guilty conscience, who, as it turns out, is on her new undercover role as the future girlfriend of Solano.

Or is supposed to be, at least. She loses her confidence at the last minute and it's up to Johnny to take over.

I want to see Johnny shine -- he's had some interesting character moments this episode and he's much more interesting than our bland-as-oatmeal hero.

With any luck, Paige will kill Mike and Johnny will take over as the foil to Paul's bad-boy shtick.

See you next week!