Perry Farrell & Brittany Furlan

Empty Lighthouse is a reader-supported site. This article may contain affiliate links to Amazon and other sites. We earn a commission on purchases made through these links.

I'm reluctant to even write an article about this because I hate supporting Vine fame.

It makes me insane.

But this is at least vaguely insulting enough for me to pull the trigger.

Brittany Furlan has 5.6 million followers on Vine. Do you understand the scope of 5.6 million followers?

She doesn't do anything but play with dogs and look like Perry Farrell.

I guess I don't understand the angle. I can't imagine anyone watches it and laughs. Or that anyone watches it and wants to fuck her. Or that anyone watches it and thinks: "gee whiz, that's thoughtful."

It's almost like if Carson Kressley explained to me how much fun it is to give a blow job. It's just a language I don't speak.

And it hurts because that's 5.6 million hearts that I'll never have.